In the beginning...

Before Paul and I got married, God birthed in our hearts (seperately) that one day we would adopt a child.
For me it happened when I was attending a ladies small group. We were making Christmas boxes with toys to send to kids in Africa via Samaritan's Purse. A volunteer w/ Samaritan's Purse showed us a video of the kids in Africa, with the song "He Knows My Name" playing while the pictures scrolled. And all of the sudden, uh, totally without warning, tears were flowing down my face. And God told me clear as a bell, that all the orphans in the world matter to Him. He sees them everywhere they are and wants to meet their needs and ease their pain, via His vessels. (His vessels being us/me.) It was powerful and I'll never forget that moment. I've thought about it everyday since. Just like the day that I was saved and got to know the Lord for the first time. I remember it like it was yesterday.
You see, it's so memorable because it's not just a fleeting memory. It's actually an encounter with God. He meets with you to give you a glimpse of His plan and calling and purpose for your creation. There is nothing, AT ALL, better than knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you just had an intimate moment with the Creator.

Since the beginning of our marriage we've been praying for the right time, right way, right agency, right child, right location. In fact we found out we were pregnant with Ava on the last day of Foster parenting training in Illinois! It wasn't the right time to adopt and God gave us Ava as a gift. You see, He knew that one day we would fulfill part of our purpose- to take care of one of His children via adoption. He is a loving, romantic God, in love with His children, and He gives GOOD GIFTS. I think that Ava was an advance on our rewards for being His faithful ones. She was an upfront signing bonus.

For some time now we've been praying and seeking the Lord on adoption. And quite honestly, for years we've heard nothing. Silence. Or so we thought. The message was "wait". For the last 2 years we've been wanting to add to our family. There have been many buckets of tears shed these last 2 years with the infertility roller coaster we've been on. We've done many rounds of drugs to help the process. All with a resounding, heart-breaking-- NEGATIVE.
We also filled out adoption paperwork during fertility treatments. Only to not turn them in because money was tight and it would have been financially irresponsible. Again, heart-breaking.
It is a huge financial responsibility and we want to be good stewards of God's money.

So fast forward, heart ache and tears, blah blah......this week we found out, again, that we were not pregnant. Probably the lowest point (emotionally) thus far. Sidebar--isn't if funny how just when you get to the bottom of the barrell, God shows up and shows you how big and awesome and present He really is. Okay, I'm back now. I questioned many things this week. "Why haven't we heard from God? Where is He? Why isn't He giving me the desires of my heart? How involved in our daily lives is He?" etc. Finally, on Saturday, Paul and I came to the conclusion that no matter what, God has called us to adopt, it's HIS plan for US and He can't work if we aren't willing to move our feet! So we committed to Lifeline Adoption Agency in Birmingham, AL. Saturday night we prayed and filled out the paper work. And because of some of the financial hardships we've faced with our rental house in IL, we rearranged our finances so that now we are in better shape, monthly. God's Holy Bible is pretty black and white about Him providing for His followers that are doing His will. It's all over the bible. And we've seen God's amazing faithfulness proven time and time again, when the financial numbers weren't adding up, and Boom, a random check would show up to cover the costs. He's just not limited to the capacity of our mind's reasoning. So on Monday(tomorrow) we are turning in our filled out paperwork along with our first payment of $250. Then in the next couple of weeks, we will have to turn in $500 for Initial something fee and a $750 for the first Home Study visit. The great thing is we don't have the money for those. So we can't wait to see how God is going to provide for His purpose for us.
On Sunday morning, after taking the first step and committing that we were ready to trust God for His provision, God finally spoke to me about adding a child/children to our family. I cannot reveal the snipit He gave me but let me say, it's out of my comfort zone, out of Paul's, and it's gonna be awesome. After hearing NOTHING, people I mean, NOTHING from God on when/how/who to adopt in years, hearing His gentle voice this morning sent me into a Niagra Falls tear shower. It is so so so precious to hear from Him. THE Creator. THE Lover of My Soul. THE Giver of Life. He gently said that because we took the first step He would reveal that we were doing the right thing and He was going to bless our endeavor.

All day today, I've felt like I've been wandering around the desert for 40 days with nothing to drink. I was SO thirsty to hear from God on this. We'd hear from Him and see Him in other areas of our life, but this heart wrenching area....nothing(actually a quiet "wait"). So basically, I've spent all day in tears of joy and laughter as God has been revealing to me some of why it's taken so long. I don't care about the who/what/where/when/how anymore....I just care that I'm stepping out on faith, like He wants, and fulfilling part of my purpose. I'm in line with His will.

I know this is going to be a journey, but I'm not directing it. God is. He's revealing our adoption story that He already authored before time began. (Big gigantic humongous smile)

Commonly asked questions:
From where are you adopting? Domestically-Birmingham we suppose
How much is this going to cost? $20,000-30,000-ish
How much do we have? $250 for the application fee
How will you get the money? God will provide in amazing ways, donations (see the donation button below)
What gender? Whatev
What race? Many combinations are possible. We are not limiting God's gift.
Special Needs? We don't think so. We don't feel called to that.
How long will it take? Who knows
Do you still have your baby stuff from when Ava was a baby? Uh, no. We will probably be "garage selling". We do have a brand crib. But that's it.
How can I help? First of all, pray pray pray pray for us. It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's expensive. We need a covering of prayer from our friends and family. So does our birthmom and soon to come baby/child!! Secondly, you may donate via our paypal button below or mail us a check. I'm also having a garage sale March 12. All proceeds will go to our adoption. If you'd like to donate stuff to sell- bring it on! Lastly, forward this blog or our story to everyone you know. You never know who may want to help orphans but isn't called to adopt. So for those folks, sending money is great way to help.

Thanks for reading. Check back for updates.